The Avatar Returns

Episode 15 - The Painted Lady / Sokka's Master / The Beach

Another episode of The Avatar Returns is here to teach you a lesson...ON YOUR FACE! The boys fight over who gets to be Dock, Xu, and Bushi as they critique chapter 303, "The Painted Lady." In 304, "Sokka's Master," our favorite "regular guy" gets a cool meteor sword, and Eric enrolls in Tae Bo by Iroh. And finally, it's Beach Blanket Zuko in chapter 305, "The Beach." AJ is still iffy on Sideways Eye Guy; Eric drops knowledge on the Chakra Theory of bending sub-styles; and is Avatar: The Last Airbender actually just a retooling of Daria?

Next: we get morbid and creepifying with chapters 306-308, "The Avatar and The Firelord," "The Runaway," and "The Puppetmaster."

 

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 11:15)
• Main Topic (11:15 - 1:15:30)
• Outro / Next (1:15:30 - 1:17:39)

Episode 14 - The Awakening / The Headband

There seems to have been some confusion among the ranks of hosts this week. To clarify, we are only discussion two chapters this time around, not three. Okay, Eric? Only two. But thanks for the enthusiasm, son. The two (not three, two) chapters we discuss this week are 301, "The Awakening," which picks up a few weeks after the tragic events in the Book Two finale, with Aang and Co. traveling on a stolen Fire Navy ship and the entire world believing the Avatar is dead (isn't that great?!), and 302, "The Headband," or as we like to call it, "Footloose in the Fire Nation." The boys chat about Aang's hair, Papa Sokka and Mama Katara, Dance Dance Revolution, and Sideways Eye Guy.

 

ZUKO BOMB!

 

Also, phone lines are open for listeners to weigh in on how Paul should live his life going forward. Vote early and often! [Ed. Note: there are no phone lines, just the e-mail.]

 

Next: okay Eric, NOW we're gonna talk about three chapters. 303-305, "The Painted Lady," "Sokka's Master," and "The Beach."

 

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 09:00)
• Main Topic (09:00 - 1:04:20)
• Outro / Next (1:04:20 - 1:06:42)

Episode 13 - The Guru / The Crossroads of Destiny

The Earth Kingdom has fallen. Avatar: The Last Airbender Book Two comes to its Earth Kingdom-shattering conclusion. In chapter 219, "The Guru," Aang zips right through chakra training to master his Avatar State, but can't quite close the deal as he is drawn back into helping his friends. Then, in chapter 220, "The Crossroads of Destiny," Azula ruins everyone's lives. Seriously. She lies, she manipulates, she shoots blue fire like she's a jet engine. Things look slightly less dire when we're reminded that Toph is the greatest earthbender in the world. (And don't you dunderheads ever forget it!) But then Aang gets burned. And Zuko takes possibly the darkest, most tragic turn in the entire series. 

 

But hey, we talk about comics, so it's not all doom and gloom. (Although AJ isn't nice about them, so maybe it is.) 

 

Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose listening to this podcast.

 

Next: the final season of Avatar begins as we get into Book Three: Fire! We discuss chapter 301, "The Awakening," and 302, "The Headband."

 

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 17:00)
• Main Topic (17:00 - 1:16:15)
• Outro / Next (1:16:15 - 1:18:25)

Episode 12 - Appa's Lost Days / Lake Laogai / The Earth King

Yeah, let's break some rules! We radically shift the format of the show this week [Editor's note: no, we actually don't at all] as we reach the penultimate episode of our Book Two podcasts with chapters 216-218, "Appa's Lost Days," "Lake Laogai," and "The Earth King." Paul defends Dai Li dickbaggery, AJ identifies with Azula in a really uncomfortable way, and Eric finally likes a Jet storyline. And in a new regular feature [Ed. note: again, not really], the boys pitch spinoff show ideas; AJ imagines the Avatar/Bone crossover, Suki and the Veni-Yan, while Paul reveals his plans for The Young Sweepy Chronicles. 

 

Next: we close the book on the Earth Kingdom with chapters 219, "The Guru," and 220, "The Crossroads of Destiny."

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 04:53)
• Main Topic (04:53 - 1:07:42)
• Outro / Next (1:07:42 - 1:09:30)

Episode 11 - City of Walls and Secrets / The Tales of Ba Sing Se

This week gets off to a weird start as AJ raises an existential question which, among other things, reveals Eric's secret desire to totally mess up some random 16-year old kid's life. Pretending we heard none of that, we move forward with Avatar Book Two. In chapter 214, "City of Walls and Secrets," the full splendor of Ba Sing Se finally begins to open up to us. We talk about the peaceful life Iroh and Zuko seem set to build for themselves here, while the Aang Gang are exposed to the '70s-era conspiracy element of the Impenetrable City as they cross paths with Clancy Brown and his Secret Police. And chapter 215, "The Tales of Ba Sing Se" impresses us with how well it manages to tell what are essentially six complete stories, including Def Jam Sokka going all 8 Mile, Momo's graceful monkey dancing, and the heartbreaking homage to the late great Mako Iwamatsu. 

 

Also, a listener ruins everything by pointing our our many errors. And there's some controversy over who actually wrote the vignette "The Tale of Zuko." (Note: there's no controversy, Paul was just straight-up wrong.) 

 

Next: our penultimate episode of Book Two brings us chapters 216-218, "Appa's Lost Days," "Lake Laogai," and "The Earth King."

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 16:45)
• Main Topic (16:45 - 1:17:55)
• Outro / Next (1:17:55 - 1:19:56)

Episode 10 - The Library / The Desert / The Serpent's Pass / The Drill

The Avatar Returns returns! We're back, having survived our various chemically altered holiday adventures. And due to some odd digital episode numbering, we end up with a bonus chapter this week which we hadn't anticipated watching yet. But perhaps it all works out for the best, since it turns out chapters 210, "The Library," and 213, "The Drill" bookend this discussion with more action-oriented, event-based stories, whereas the two middle chapters, 211, "The Desert," and 212, "The Serpent's Pass" are transitional, getting-from-place-to-place stories. We talk about giant owl-faced dick spirits, Aang almost going all Anakin Skywalker on some dudes, AJ asks Paul to dance (it gets awkward), and we forgo the usual Buffy the Vampire Slayer comparisons in favor of our first Doctor Who, Tarantino, Princess Bride, and Lost references. 

 

Also there's a pop quiz! 

 

Next: a short week to make up for this week's surprise fourth chapter, we'll be discussion 214, "City of Walls and Secrets," and 215, "The Tales of Ba Sing Se."

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 11:07)
• POP QUIZ! (11:07 - 21:45)
• Main Topic (21:45 - 1:16:45)
• Outro / Next (1:16:45 - 1:20:06)

Episode 9 - Zuko Alone / The Chase / Bitter Work

A rare celestial event on The Avatar Returns this week as all three hosts agree on all three chapters. In what could conceivably be dubbed the Zuko Cycle, chapters 207-209, “Zuko Alone,” “The Chase,” and “Bitter Work” focus almost exclusively on everyone’s favorite banished emo prince as he pulls a Caine from Kung Fu and walks the Earth…Kingdom. The boys talk about the obvious homages to classic westerns like Shane and High Noon, the care and transport of Jesus lizards, and the dramatic heft of characters with deeply emotionally rooted conflicts like Zuko and Azula. Fears that perhaps Book Two might flounder under the sophomore slump turn out to be unwarranted! 

 

Next: we take a month off to wage war on Christmas like Fire Lord Ozai. Once the holidays are over, we pick up right where we left off, continuing Book Two with chapters 210-212, “The Library,” “The Desert,” and “The Serpent’s Pass.”

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 05:14)
• Main Topic (05:14 - 1:07:12)
• Outro / Next (1:07:12 - 1:09:43)

 

Episode 8 - The Swamp / Avatar Day / The Blind Bandit

Man, rednecks ruin everything! This week, Avatar: The Last Airbender goes all Deliverance on us, and at least two of our hosts ain't down for that. Chapter 204 takes us to "The Swamp," and introduces us to the Duck Dynasty of the Avatar world. Then we drain the muck our of our boots and celebrate "Avatar Day" with Sokka Holmes and some really friendly townsfolk in chapter 205. And finally, the episode Paul has been waiting for since the beginning is here at last as chapter 206 brings the Boulder-breaking debut of "The Blind Bandit." There's some talk about whether the show and/or the characters are treading a bit of water at the moment (complete with all the terrible puns you'd expect from that). And we close it all out talking about which bending style we each imagine ourselves practicing. 

 

Also, we continue to let AJ believe he coined the phrase "the Aang Gang." (Shhh...nobody tell him.) 

 

Next: chapters 207-209, "Zuko Alone," "The Chase," and "Bitter Work" bring us to the mid-point of the series.

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 02:15)
• Main Topic (02:15 - 1:00:45)
• Outro / Next (1:00:45 - 1:05:12)

Episode 7 - The Avatar State / The Cave of Two Lovers / Return to Omashu

Sleep deprivation, unpopular opinions about lava, and oblique references to midichlorian-bending take us into the Holiday season and mark the beginning of our journey through Avatar Book Two: Earth. The chapters guiding us this week are 201-203, “The Avatar State,” “The Cave of Two Lovers,” and “Return to Omashu.” It’s definite hard to follow the explosive finale to Book One we discussed last time, but these three chapters give us some truly great moments with Zuko and Iroh, including the proper introduction to the REAL bad seed of Zuko’s family. There’s also a new twist on firebending, the Joseph Campbellian hero’s sewer journey, and the boys officially join the fandom by debating that kiss. 

 

Oh, and there’s that whole Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon thing. 

 

Next: three more chapters, including what Paul and Eric agree is one of the big ones. We will explore 204-206, “The Swamp,” “Avatar Day,” and “The Blind Bandit.”

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 09:00)
• Main Topic (09:00 - 1:12:43)
• Outro / Next (1:12:43 - 1:15:28)

 

 

Episode 6 - The Waterbending Master / The Siege of the North, Part 1 / The Siege of the North, Part 2

The boys are back, closing out the first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender discussing chapters 18-20, “The Waterbending Master,” “The Siege of the North, Part 1,” and “The Siege of the North, Part 2.” Our intrepid heroes have finally reached the Norther Water Tribe, but their troubles have only begun. Cheer as Katara kicks some misogynist butt! Shudder at the horror that is Koh, the Face Stealer! Gasp at the fishy power of Koizilla! And run in terror from…Paul singing?

 

(You have been warned.)

 

Next: We kick off Book Two - Earth with chapters 1-3, “The Avatar State,” “The Cave of the Two Lovers,” and “Return to Omashu.”

 

The Breakdown

• Intro / Banter (00:00 - 07:52)
• Main Topic (07:52 - 1:05:48)
• Outro / Next (1:05:48 - 1:08:19)